With three main cultures (Native Malaysian, Chinese, and Indian) making up the majority of the population of Malaysia, it's no wonder why Malaysia ranks number seven on the list of top ten countries with public holidays. Not all of these holidays are religious in nature. The Hari Merdeka (august 31st) is their independence day. Chinese New Year (January 31st) is also a national holiday along with Christmas (December 25th) and the birthday of the prophet Muhammad (January 14th). The interesting thing about some of these holidays is the fact that the people of Malays have an open-door policy. meaning that anyone can come into their homes and celebrate with them. That sounds like fun, but Etiquette is very important to me and I never want to cause offense. Since there are three different cultures within this country it becomes easy to offend someone. Thankfully, the Malaysian people are very forgiving when it comes to a foreigners mistakes. But here are some tips to keep anyone who goes to Malaysia from looking like a rude tourist. Especially if someone invites you into their home.
Consider this scenario: someone in Malaysia who is obviously native to the region walks up to you and introduces them self. How do you respond? It is important to note that since there are three main divisions within Malaysia that there are several different ways to greet someone. The most common of which is the handshake. This may seem simple enough, but keep in mind that women may not shake hands with men and men may not shake hands with women. instead, the man may bow while putting his right hand over his heart. This alters for the other two cultures as Chinese women may shake hands with men, but the woman must extend her hand first. for the Indians, a nod of the head and a smile will suffice when a man greets a woman. for the female tourists, shaking another woman's hand is completely acceptable. when being introduced to a man, foreign women are greeted in the same way as native women. meaning, that a Malaysian man will bow, an Indian man will nod his head, and a Chinese man will wait for you to extend your hand before initiating a handshake. As in most countries, the right hand is the one that you shake with as the left is considered unclean.
2. Gifts
In Malaysia, when visiting someones home, it is customary to give them a gift. this is true of all three major nationalities in Malaysia. It is a common way of saying "thank you for allowing me into your home". But there are several things to note when giving a gift. For instance, if invited to a Malaysian home it is the custom to bring the hostess chocolates or pastries. For children, never give them toy dogs or pigs. the Malaysian people are generally Muslim, so anything pig-related can be construed as highly offensive. alcohol is also unacceptable as a gift. When wrapping the gift, make sure it isn't white (the color for death and mourning) or yellow (the color for royalty) and make sure to offer the gift with the right hand primarily.
If you are invited into a Chinese home, the preferred gift is candy or cakes. you must say it is for the children. Initially it will be refused as the hosts don't want to seem greedy. But they will eventually accept it. anything that is made for cutting (scissors, knives, etc.) is seen as a symbol that you do not wish to be friends anymore (cutting off the relationship) and again, wrapping is important. Anything with birds on it is out of the question as they are the symbols of death in Chinese culture. The color is also important. White, Blue, and Black are all death colors and should be avoided when wrapping a present. Finally, make sure to bring an even number of gifts as uneven numbers are considered unlucky.
When visiting an Indian home money can be an acceptable gift. Just make sure you give an odd amount as an even amount is considered unlucky. White and black are death colors, so wrap a present in bright colors as these are considered lucky. If you know the family follows the Hindu religion then anything made out of cows is unacceptable. Also, alcohol should not be a gift unless you know for sure that the person you are giving it to drinks.
In all cases, your gift will most likely not be opened until later or after you leave. so make sure that the gift is something that won't be bad in a few hours.
Another scenario to consider: so you have met someone from Malaysia and greeted them properly, they are impressed and invite you to their home for dinner. You bring them a gift or two and they are again impressed. you sit down for dinner and what then? How do you eat without putting everyone else off? Luckily, many similarities exist between Malaysian dining practices and those of other southeastern countries such as Indonesia. But in case you are unfamiliar with these methods, here is what you can expect.
Only use your right hand. once again the left hand is used for cleaning and it is very taboo to use it. Most Malaysians will not have knives at the table. instead, you must rely on your fork and a spoon. Don't worry though, most foods come to the table already cut up. keep in mind that pork will not be served in Muslim households and beef won't be served in those practicing Hindu. Some Buddhist and Taoist religions may have no meat at all. Keep in mind that elders in Malaysia are well respected and meals may not begin until the oldest person at the table has been served and has begun eating. This is incredibly important as it shows respect for the entire family. If you are seated next to the host and are farthest away from the door, the you are the honored guest and may be asked to make a small speech (or a toast) at the table after the host or at the conclusion of the meal. All that is required is that you wish the host and those gathered around you happiness and good health. Finally, if any of the food is finger food, always pick it up with your right hand.
The Malaysian people are considered friendly and easygoing. As I have stated previously, they are a forgiving people and will accept the mistakes of foreigners. But if you are like me, then presenting yourself as a knowledgeable and culturally sensitive individual is as important to you as anything else when dealing with an unfamiliar culture. Etiquette is an important part of life and it needs to be addressed when seeing the rest of the world. It allows you to understand the culture and can make you feel more comfortable around the native peoples wherever you go.
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